Journals15
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Starting Over... Again!
4 min read
Hi guys! I am not dead yet! XD
Umm... hmm... Where to begin, well the short stick of it is I am moving back to the US. After living in Turkey for nearly 4 years and job hoping around for 3 years, I decided that I am not ready to do what I want to do in Turkey and need far more experience.
Now let me start by saying this. I haven't been on much social media, let alone Deviant Art, for a good while because when I did work, I had to commute 3-4 hours a day to and from work. I have gained experience that benefits for work and life in general, but as a person who wants to one day create their own company within the country of Turkey and spread local gaming, I still have a long way to go.
Awhile back I have mentioned I would start commissions, but never done so. This isn't just because of commuting. Services such as Paypal is currently banned in Turkey. They only allow localized versions of Paypal, but if you wanted to do services outside the country... well let's say charges and taxes would scare away any potential clients. I tried to email this to Paypal, about my situation in particular, and how I didn't want to use any of the Turkish banks, but they pretty much didn't care. I even tried to talk to Google Wallet. They were a bit more professional about it and tried to explain how they can't open an account for international purposes, but if I used it for national purposes only I would be allowed to use Google Wallet. Sadly, since I wanted more of global advertisement and sell fan art work anywhere, I declined, but hey at least they tried an alternative. So when I do move back, I might try to set up the commission again, but I need to do other things first.
At this very moment it is 4.1 TL (Turkish Lira) to $1 (USD). Meaning thanks to the economic depression, I will have almost no money, once I move, and get a car. I will have enough money for 1 year of car insurance and health insurance. This isn't me asking for money. This is just talking out my situation. After maybe a month adapting (if I can afford it), I need to find a job. It will not be what I want as those jobs take months to find, but a job.
A lot of people told me I am being hasty and not thinking things through, but... honestly I don't really have anything to lose. Sure, I have started to build a platform in Turkey as a 3D artist, and if I really wanted to I know I could live comfortably with what I am currently doing, w/ the exception of minor details, such as being paid on time. However, I was never really happy. To some this seems like a spoiled thought and it might as well be. I grew up in a confined life with the military. I pretty much had to act the same way as people worked as retailers only as a military brat. So what should be only 5-10 years of this experience is closer to 20-22 years for me. I want a chance for happiness and for me the 1st step of that is moving back to the place that started to help me give such individualistic thoughts. I have also been in a relationship for quite sometime and most of it has been long distance. The fact we didn't murder each other from this long distance trial is amazing. But who knows... we might hate each other in 2 months XD
Even if I have another job that isn't what I want... I would probably commute maybe 60-90 minutes a day. That sounds so amazing to me. Not to mention you are at the office 8 hours a day and not 9 hours. I will be gaining 2-3 hours a day of my life back. The same 2-3 hours where I can potentially work on fan art, 3D art, or... hell practice 2D animation and make short animations of my life as a half Turk and US citizen whom lived with the military life.
Point being, I am starting over again. Might not be smartest idea, but it is a choice that I need to take regardless of the outcome.
Umm... hmm... Where to begin, well the short stick of it is I am moving back to the US. After living in Turkey for nearly 4 years and job hoping around for 3 years, I decided that I am not ready to do what I want to do in Turkey and need far more experience.
Now let me start by saying this. I haven't been on much social media, let alone Deviant Art, for a good while because when I did work, I had to commute 3-4 hours a day to and from work. I have gained experience that benefits for work and life in general, but as a person who wants to one day create their own company within the country of Turkey and spread local gaming, I still have a long way to go.
Awhile back I have mentioned I would start commissions, but never done so. This isn't just because of commuting. Services such as Paypal is currently banned in Turkey. They only allow localized versions of Paypal, but if you wanted to do services outside the country... well let's say charges and taxes would scare away any potential clients. I tried to email this to Paypal, about my situation in particular, and how I didn't want to use any of the Turkish banks, but they pretty much didn't care. I even tried to talk to Google Wallet. They were a bit more professional about it and tried to explain how they can't open an account for international purposes, but if I used it for national purposes only I would be allowed to use Google Wallet. Sadly, since I wanted more of global advertisement and sell fan art work anywhere, I declined, but hey at least they tried an alternative. So when I do move back, I might try to set up the commission again, but I need to do other things first.
At this very moment it is 4.1 TL (Turkish Lira) to $1 (USD). Meaning thanks to the economic depression, I will have almost no money, once I move, and get a car. I will have enough money for 1 year of car insurance and health insurance. This isn't me asking for money. This is just talking out my situation. After maybe a month adapting (if I can afford it), I need to find a job. It will not be what I want as those jobs take months to find, but a job.
A lot of people told me I am being hasty and not thinking things through, but... honestly I don't really have anything to lose. Sure, I have started to build a platform in Turkey as a 3D artist, and if I really wanted to I know I could live comfortably with what I am currently doing, w/ the exception of minor details, such as being paid on time. However, I was never really happy. To some this seems like a spoiled thought and it might as well be. I grew up in a confined life with the military. I pretty much had to act the same way as people worked as retailers only as a military brat. So what should be only 5-10 years of this experience is closer to 20-22 years for me. I want a chance for happiness and for me the 1st step of that is moving back to the place that started to help me give such individualistic thoughts. I have also been in a relationship for quite sometime and most of it has been long distance. The fact we didn't murder each other from this long distance trial is amazing. But who knows... we might hate each other in 2 months XD
Even if I have another job that isn't what I want... I would probably commute maybe 60-90 minutes a day. That sounds so amazing to me. Not to mention you are at the office 8 hours a day and not 9 hours. I will be gaining 2-3 hours a day of my life back. The same 2-3 hours where I can potentially work on fan art, 3D art, or... hell practice 2D animation and make short animations of my life as a half Turk and US citizen whom lived with the military life.
Point being, I am starting over again. Might not be smartest idea, but it is a choice that I need to take regardless of the outcome.
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So... About that Coup
2 min read
'Ello everyone. I know I haven't been on DA for roughly 2 weeks, but being the fact I am in Turkey, more specifically Istanbul, I wanted to give an update of what is going on.
I will not talk about the Coups and what happened last night news wise. The social media is all over the place for that and you can read it.
Now I live at the Asian side of Istanbul, most of these events happened on the European side of the city. I had been informed of the Coup minutes before the curfew kicked in as well as a global news event from the US military. I cannot say from my experience there was chaos and turmoil from my location. For the most part it was quiet until... 1:30am when some of the mosques called in prayer. The one that stood out was singing in different vocals as if he was in the gospel choir, which was amazing. Most of these prayers are in dull mono toned voice, so hearing this was kind of amazing. There were car honkings and chants, but my area is more family oriented so they didn't last long.
It took awhile for me to figure out what going on exactly since I don't have cable and they were slowing down web traffic to somehow censor the media. Around 3am I was too tired so I went to bed. I woke up a couple of times due to aftershocks from bombs explosions. My boyfriend woken up more due to jets speeding and creating sonic booms.
Right now, it is a bit quiet. I would say more active than certain parts of the city. After all I hear construction workers, vehicles and people walking around. We won't be venturing out too much, but we will go to a cafe or two to see how people are doing and socialize. It is better than sitting in the house all day even though technically we really shouldn't be out.
I will not talk about the Coups and what happened last night news wise. The social media is all over the place for that and you can read it.
Now I live at the Asian side of Istanbul, most of these events happened on the European side of the city. I had been informed of the Coup minutes before the curfew kicked in as well as a global news event from the US military. I cannot say from my experience there was chaos and turmoil from my location. For the most part it was quiet until... 1:30am when some of the mosques called in prayer. The one that stood out was singing in different vocals as if he was in the gospel choir, which was amazing. Most of these prayers are in dull mono toned voice, so hearing this was kind of amazing. There were car honkings and chants, but my area is more family oriented so they didn't last long.
It took awhile for me to figure out what going on exactly since I don't have cable and they were slowing down web traffic to somehow censor the media. Around 3am I was too tired so I went to bed. I woke up a couple of times due to aftershocks from bombs explosions. My boyfriend woken up more due to jets speeding and creating sonic booms.
Right now, it is a bit quiet. I would say more active than certain parts of the city. After all I hear construction workers, vehicles and people walking around. We won't be venturing out too much, but we will go to a cafe or two to see how people are doing and socialize. It is better than sitting in the house all day even though technically we really shouldn't be out.
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Update On Life
6 min read
'Ello all, been awhile since I written anything.... So here is a journal!
Uhh... so yeah part of the reason I was mia until... February/March is because I got a job that was across the city and that lead to commuting 3 hours a day. Also in Turkey the average working hours are 9 hrs because apparently we are not allowed to get paid during our lunch hr...
You know... personal rant time. I get it if it is a factory worker or building construction because it is physical labor and they need to take breaks so they don't hurt themselves or others, but most desk jobs are on computers, and people tend to just sit on their butt while working. People also still work a bit during their lunch hour, because it is on a screen. Turkey change it to 8 hrs or make people get paid for the full 9 hours instead of this "It is mandatory for workers to take a full hr off" bs. Everyone with an office job still works during that hour even while socializing. End rant
-Coughs- As I was saying... I worked 9 hours a day and commuted 3 hours a day... through subways. Never really had the energy to do anything before or after work let alone thinking about drawing. And I did this by Dec 31st 2015. I decided to quit due to the commute issue. For those who are wondering why I don't get a car... well my commute will be 4 hrs a day then. I live in a city with roughly 15 million people and there are only 2 bridges to cross from when going to the Asian side to the European. Plus unlike most of the countries in the world gas is still very expensive here. It is around $5 a gallon I think. It use to be around $7, but only because the TL currently was worth more at the time. It only went down due the lira value going down. Buses (specifically the Metro Bus) takes just as long... well cause bridges.
Also if there is by any chance a person from Istanbul is reading this and thinks I am being a baby about it, esp since the metro system is new, you know if you want to pay to do half ass work because it is more important for the person to be on time and to look pretty, fine. If you want a person who wants to get shit done, giving them the free lance option or commuting less than hr does make a difference. For example during my time in work I was able to produce 45 video tutorials that are roughly 3 min long, less than a week (this includes the research time as well as script writing). If I had to do the 3 hr commute I would be lucky enough to produce 4 videos a day (this is not including the scripts written out or doing the research time). Luckily my previous job understood the situation and let me work at home for these types of situations. In fact I think I nearly gave one my bosses a heart attack on how fast I was working and producing these videos.
Any who... I went to the US to visit friends, fam, and school to see what is what and update my contacts. Now I am back here unemployed again. Though it isn't a complete waste. I have been practicing my skills as an artist and started from scratch. I believe I had to since I barely did any work at all for the past 8 months when I worked. I think 2D wise I am almost comfortable of being back to my usual self. I know my more recent submissions have been line art, but I gotta say line art has been one of my weaker subjects. The only issue I have is I don't think I can still draw fast enough, but... meh. I want to do/finish 4 drawings (including a colored azuchu) before I fully start practicing 3D props.
With that said, for those who are reading this, I would like to ask for a request. Please take the time to vote the poll before my core exps or leave a comment relating to the poll or on what I am about to type.
After finishing the 4 drawings I want to start focusing a certain area and I decided either tutorials or mobile wallpapers. I may end up doing both, but I do focus the opinions on DA as well as another site to hear on what they want. If people choose tutorials (be it 2D or 3D or both) I will give out free tutorials such as the Glass Jar Tutorial. However, if you want a detailed tutorial such as text description on opacity %, pov, brush types, then I will require to ask for money. $3 for simplified tutorials (such as how to make simple/cartoonish leather or plastic) and $5 for a more detailed/realistic style (such as a hand painted rock texture, crystals, tress, etc). Some of you might be thinking, "Screw this, I can look this up for free." and that is perfectly fine. After all, I would also give out free tutorials visually, but just as any human being with rent and trying to make bread money, I have to make money somehow. Even through YouTube, a good portion of tutorials are speed up with a music in the background. To see the full version there is a good chance you have to pay for it (whether it Patron or others) or if someone sponsored them and they can show the full version.
I am also thinking of doing something similar to mobile wallpapers. $3 for a more simplified style (Stitch is a good example) and $5 for more of an environment concept piece. These prices are separate from commission per person by the way. This is if a product is complete and sold to the public domain... like posters. If an individual wants to commission a very specific wallpaper, then that is a complete different scenario and prices will be different.
Blah.. it's what I have been thinking for the past couple of weeks. Again I would like to hear people's opinions if they don't mind taking the time.
Thanks for reading and stay classy.
Uhh... so yeah part of the reason I was mia until... February/March is because I got a job that was across the city and that lead to commuting 3 hours a day. Also in Turkey the average working hours are 9 hrs because apparently we are not allowed to get paid during our lunch hr...
You know... personal rant time. I get it if it is a factory worker or building construction because it is physical labor and they need to take breaks so they don't hurt themselves or others, but most desk jobs are on computers, and people tend to just sit on their butt while working. People also still work a bit during their lunch hour, because it is on a screen. Turkey change it to 8 hrs or make people get paid for the full 9 hours instead of this "It is mandatory for workers to take a full hr off" bs. Everyone with an office job still works during that hour even while socializing. End rant
-Coughs- As I was saying... I worked 9 hours a day and commuted 3 hours a day... through subways. Never really had the energy to do anything before or after work let alone thinking about drawing. And I did this by Dec 31st 2015. I decided to quit due to the commute issue. For those who are wondering why I don't get a car... well my commute will be 4 hrs a day then. I live in a city with roughly 15 million people and there are only 2 bridges to cross from when going to the Asian side to the European. Plus unlike most of the countries in the world gas is still very expensive here. It is around $5 a gallon I think. It use to be around $7, but only because the TL currently was worth more at the time. It only went down due the lira value going down. Buses (specifically the Metro Bus) takes just as long... well cause bridges.
Also if there is by any chance a person from Istanbul is reading this and thinks I am being a baby about it, esp since the metro system is new, you know if you want to pay to do half ass work because it is more important for the person to be on time and to look pretty, fine. If you want a person who wants to get shit done, giving them the free lance option or commuting less than hr does make a difference. For example during my time in work I was able to produce 45 video tutorials that are roughly 3 min long, less than a week (this includes the research time as well as script writing). If I had to do the 3 hr commute I would be lucky enough to produce 4 videos a day (this is not including the scripts written out or doing the research time). Luckily my previous job understood the situation and let me work at home for these types of situations. In fact I think I nearly gave one my bosses a heart attack on how fast I was working and producing these videos.
Any who... I went to the US to visit friends, fam, and school to see what is what and update my contacts. Now I am back here unemployed again. Though it isn't a complete waste. I have been practicing my skills as an artist and started from scratch. I believe I had to since I barely did any work at all for the past 8 months when I worked. I think 2D wise I am almost comfortable of being back to my usual self. I know my more recent submissions have been line art, but I gotta say line art has been one of my weaker subjects. The only issue I have is I don't think I can still draw fast enough, but... meh. I want to do/finish 4 drawings (including a colored azuchu) before I fully start practicing 3D props.
With that said, for those who are reading this, I would like to ask for a request. Please take the time to vote the poll before my core exps or leave a comment relating to the poll or on what I am about to type.
After finishing the 4 drawings I want to start focusing a certain area and I decided either tutorials or mobile wallpapers. I may end up doing both, but I do focus the opinions on DA as well as another site to hear on what they want. If people choose tutorials (be it 2D or 3D or both) I will give out free tutorials such as the Glass Jar Tutorial. However, if you want a detailed tutorial such as text description on opacity %, pov, brush types, then I will require to ask for money. $3 for simplified tutorials (such as how to make simple/cartoonish leather or plastic) and $5 for a more detailed/realistic style (such as a hand painted rock texture, crystals, tress, etc). Some of you might be thinking, "Screw this, I can look this up for free." and that is perfectly fine. After all, I would also give out free tutorials visually, but just as any human being with rent and trying to make bread money, I have to make money somehow. Even through YouTube, a good portion of tutorials are speed up with a music in the background. To see the full version there is a good chance you have to pay for it (whether it Patron or others) or if someone sponsored them and they can show the full version.
I am also thinking of doing something similar to mobile wallpapers. $3 for a more simplified style (Stitch is a good example) and $5 for more of an environment concept piece. These prices are separate from commission per person by the way. This is if a product is complete and sold to the public domain... like posters. If an individual wants to commission a very specific wallpaper, then that is a complete different scenario and prices will be different.
Blah.. it's what I have been thinking for the past couple of weeks. Again I would like to hear people's opinions if they don't mind taking the time.
Thanks for reading and stay classy.
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Long Over Due Update
4 min read
First off I wanted to say for those who have added me to the watch list for the past 3 months, thank you for liking my work and sorry for not really updating.
I kind of have complication going on in life, then again who isn't. For the past 2 months I have been trying to get a job known as Globed. I won't go into it because business privacy, but you want an idea Google is your friend. This past week I got a job interview in another company known as Peak Games and it went well for a first meeting. Currently I am working a test to see if I am qualified for a position or more interviews (yay I normally don't get this far ;w; )
The field I am trying to apply for is marketing. Now for those who are gamers from the US before you boo me and say traitor, I do have my reasons why I want this position.
In the states, the marketer and advertisers get a bad rap because they are part of the reason why the gaming industry is in a slump or having a repetitive stale games. I will not get into that topic itself for obvious reasons.
As I mentioned before in previous entries, as well as my profile, the gaming industry is new in Turkey and the mobile industry made a boom. The reason being is cities such as Istanbul the average commute for a job is 30-120 minutes one way. Most workers go through metros, metros bus, boats, etc. Casual gaming helps retain sanity to say the least when you do this every single day, Monday - Friday, and possibly Saturday. I know more of American, European, and Asian gaming psychology. The advertising position will help understand the consumer population in Turkey and maybe possibility the rest of Middle East/Anatolia region. Heck, I will have a better understanding how gaming works in China.
Also with my current position and commuting three hours a day I have no energy to do stick figures let alone all the 5 projects I have been working on. If I get the Peak Games position, my commute will be 2 hours a day, half of it being on a boat with breakfast. I will be in a position while yes it is more statistics and psychology it is close to my field and I can work on my drawings that have been put off for so long.
I want to also mention for the month and a half that I have been active on DA I got over 3k views. I find that amazing. I mean holy shit, people actually like my work and I am sure if I was working on my art more so I could get more. So for those who watched, llamaed, and faved my work. Thank you very much. No words could ever be enough to explain my appreciation.
On personal news. I tried anti depressants for... two weeks. It was an interesting ride. Insomnia, lack of appetite, then tired all the time, headaches. etc. The most interesting part that I found on it for this specific pills is, I am pretty sure I was becoming a schizoid or a sociopath. Now some of you who are on anti depressants or know people who part are probably thinking "Nah, that is the zombie effect." I don't think that was the case.
When I see people I had no interest in their reactions and how some were annoying to the pt where I would plan on "silencing them". While we all have our little white girl of "omg I can't even" or pretty much saying annoying among other things, I have never in my life went to full Dexter mode and knew exactly where to get drugs and so forth. So... yeah stopped taking them and will see my psychiatrist in a week and ask wth these weren't suppose to be part of the side effects.
Final note. Whom ever gave me the premiership for 3 months. I want to say sorry that I couldn't of used this gift to its full potential. I will eventually get a 2 year subscription once I realize I have a more stable life.
Stay Classy Everyone.
I kind of have complication going on in life, then again who isn't. For the past 2 months I have been trying to get a job known as Globed. I won't go into it because business privacy, but you want an idea Google is your friend. This past week I got a job interview in another company known as Peak Games and it went well for a first meeting. Currently I am working a test to see if I am qualified for a position or more interviews (yay I normally don't get this far ;w; )
The field I am trying to apply for is marketing. Now for those who are gamers from the US before you boo me and say traitor, I do have my reasons why I want this position.
In the states, the marketer and advertisers get a bad rap because they are part of the reason why the gaming industry is in a slump or having a repetitive stale games. I will not get into that topic itself for obvious reasons.
As I mentioned before in previous entries, as well as my profile, the gaming industry is new in Turkey and the mobile industry made a boom. The reason being is cities such as Istanbul the average commute for a job is 30-120 minutes one way. Most workers go through metros, metros bus, boats, etc. Casual gaming helps retain sanity to say the least when you do this every single day, Monday - Friday, and possibly Saturday. I know more of American, European, and Asian gaming psychology. The advertising position will help understand the consumer population in Turkey and maybe possibility the rest of Middle East/Anatolia region. Heck, I will have a better understanding how gaming works in China.
Also with my current position and commuting three hours a day I have no energy to do stick figures let alone all the 5 projects I have been working on. If I get the Peak Games position, my commute will be 2 hours a day, half of it being on a boat with breakfast. I will be in a position while yes it is more statistics and psychology it is close to my field and I can work on my drawings that have been put off for so long.
I want to also mention for the month and a half that I have been active on DA I got over 3k views. I find that amazing. I mean holy shit, people actually like my work and I am sure if I was working on my art more so I could get more. So for those who watched, llamaed, and faved my work. Thank you very much. No words could ever be enough to explain my appreciation.
On personal news. I tried anti depressants for... two weeks. It was an interesting ride. Insomnia, lack of appetite, then tired all the time, headaches. etc. The most interesting part that I found on it for this specific pills is, I am pretty sure I was becoming a schizoid or a sociopath. Now some of you who are on anti depressants or know people who part are probably thinking "Nah, that is the zombie effect." I don't think that was the case.
When I see people I had no interest in their reactions and how some were annoying to the pt where I would plan on "silencing them". While we all have our little white girl of "omg I can't even" or pretty much saying annoying among other things, I have never in my life went to full Dexter mode and knew exactly where to get drugs and so forth. So... yeah stopped taking them and will see my psychiatrist in a week and ask wth these weren't suppose to be part of the side effects.
Final note. Whom ever gave me the premiership for 3 months. I want to say sorry that I couldn't of used this gift to its full potential. I will eventually get a 2 year subscription once I realize I have a more stable life.
Stay Classy Everyone.
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First off thank you to those who took the time to vote and wrote comments to help me figure out what I need to do or needed to be encouraged.
The top 3 as it stands are 3D, fan art, and charcoal. For those who have said do all the above. I will. This poll is more of a starting point and then spread.
For 3D I have a 3D weapon I started to work on few months back, but never finished due to depression. I am going to see if I could finish it this week.
After wards I have decided to model my house, at least the kitchen and living room. For a tiny house I have a lot of crap which is perfect for me to get back into modeling. I will make 2 versions. First the high res which will include the stitch and cloth fabric. Meaning! It will be the first time trying out the hair system.
For the most part I will mainly work on Maya since these are hard surface models with basic shapes; however, I will work on ZBrush for a few small things suck as the stitching, clothing wrinkles, etc since I have a laptop and Ncloth + laptop = bad over heating and more Maya crashing.
I will also make a low res version, because y not? I want to practice the difference between 3D show scenes as well as a gaming scene, and I have to make high res models anyway for the normal mapping. The key difference will be for the final texturing the high res will end up in Unreal 4 (Never touch UR4 so this will be interesting) and the low res will be in UDK 3 (I know the program and kinks to it). The reason for this is because... I honestly don't like Maya rendering and setting up the lighting/wiring. It takes forever on my laptop while UDK and Marmoset is much more amazing and time efficient.
I have also decided to combine the charcoal sketches w/ fan art on one condition. It has to be a dark theme such as Berserk. I mean I could Warframe frame as well since they are highly detailed models, but you get the idea. I also want to avoid the high end fan art. Yes, I do Pokemon, but I love Pokemon I do this more for me than anyone else. I want to focus on the less popular ones such as Dragon Nest (Yes I know it is dying. I have been playing DN since DN Sea beta. Don't care I like their art style), Saiyuki, Sypro (Yes the old school kind), .Hack series, Dark Siders, Jak and Daxter, etc. This means no Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, DBZ, Marvel, DC, etc. Actually I may allow Marvel and DC if they are characters that are not well known from the movie genre. Why not the popular fan art? Because it is everywhere. There are too many artists that are already doing this and I don't want to ban wagon for the sake of ban wagon. I would like to draw characters that are equally unique and complex as say... the Joker, but have been ignored since people have been paying attention to the joker.
If people truly only want me to only popular characters I will work on it, but I highly doubt people just want to see LOL characters, GOT characters, KH characters, DBZ, etc characters up in their faces 24/7. I get this is Deviant Art... but... that is what Tumblr is for... rawr...
With that being said I will have to delay charcoal drawings for a wee bit as I have yet to find a proper art store. For those outside of Turkey wondering, art supplies are normally sold in book stores. However most of these supplies come in ... tiny amounts and want your soul in return. They are mainly meant for arts and crafts for K-12. There are hardware stores equal to Home Depo and they do have a small selection of real art supplies, but again money. Yes, art supplies are expensive, but... American art supplies are cheaper and the currency is 2.59 lira to $1... One tiny oil painting tube was around 40 lira... I can find the same tube in the US for $4-6. Yeah... so if I consider American art supplies cheaper with that currency exchange it is a problem.
Being in the city of Istanbul I am pretty sure there are good art stores, I just have to find the right people. Makes things a bit more difficult when the system is discouraging art (any type of art, traditional and/or digital) as livable life/job/income and I swear the artists in this city are freaking ninjas as their try to hide their identity of being an artist.
Anyway thanks for reading.
This section is a more of rambles and to specific people. So you can ignore, but if you want to read it will be pretty out there and if want to know more... just read Naked to Lunch... For an idea of the mood.
Okay where to begin... Uhh... Some I haven't talked to you in a lil over a year some of you I haven't heard from in a few years and others... wow 16 years. I don't know if any of you are bothering to check up time to time. For 2 groups I doubt they are, but guess what I want a simple yes or no from you guys.
Not now... but years down the road I would like to write a novel/story. It will/can be fictional or nonfictional, but I do want you guys to be in it. These characters will essentially be you. This past year trying to be well... a "normal" person is difficult, though I don't I have tried it correct. After the incident in 2013 I have been focused on school and once I graduated I pretty much regressed in my limbo.
So I moved to Istanbul 3 weeks ago, and trying to be back to my old self. It seems hard since I don't really have any where to go. Don't really have topics I could just randomly talk about since they are not really encouraged to talked about in public... even something as simple as politics. I miss talking to everyone whether it was on Skype chatting away, the adult bar across the street when I was under age, the people who were in the Middle East time to time to serve their country and give each other advice, or even the times when we were kids and just trying to see who could swim across the pool the fastest. I miss the good, bad, ugly, even if you didn't trust me 100%. I understand why considering we are people live across each others lines.
Despite this... my older memories are fading... it makes me sad... I don't want to forget. It is easier for some since I have already have drawn you, and couple of you are in my gallery so I get to see you every day, but I know I need to do more in order to remember. I don't want you guys to become a lost memory as my orphan friend who died, or my kindergarten friend whom I haven't seen since high school and dk if he is alive or dead. I mean.. I hope he is alive and well, but ... -rambles-
One group I know we have cut all ties and this is more of a reminder. I hope you truly are ready when 2 of the 3 come back. I know you did it more for their sakes, but I also hope you know they may not recover, but instead regress. I was also told by someone another person by that group is reading to kids at libraries when he has the time. I am glad you are slowly feeling better. I know it won't heal completely, but at least you are doing something that would make them happy.
The other group you know who are. I hope everyone is doing well.
With that said. Guys do I have permission to use you/your characteristics for a book and publish it?
I don't want to do it now since I am still trying to figure out what I want to do as a calling.
I must say I am still envious of you guys since you already figured it out.
They were never easy choices, but you have in some way over come them. Who knows I might change my mind in the future, but the way I see it now is I want to remember as much as I can with times I have spent with you. Virtually and reality. I just want a simple yes or no answer. You don't need to answer here, we don't even need to see each other if you don't want to, but I do want an answer. From everyone... everyone who can answer anyway.
The top 3 as it stands are 3D, fan art, and charcoal. For those who have said do all the above. I will. This poll is more of a starting point and then spread.
For 3D I have a 3D weapon I started to work on few months back, but never finished due to depression. I am going to see if I could finish it this week.
After wards I have decided to model my house, at least the kitchen and living room. For a tiny house I have a lot of crap which is perfect for me to get back into modeling. I will make 2 versions. First the high res which will include the stitch and cloth fabric. Meaning! It will be the first time trying out the hair system.
For the most part I will mainly work on Maya since these are hard surface models with basic shapes; however, I will work on ZBrush for a few small things suck as the stitching, clothing wrinkles, etc since I have a laptop and Ncloth + laptop = bad over heating and more Maya crashing.
I will also make a low res version, because y not? I want to practice the difference between 3D show scenes as well as a gaming scene, and I have to make high res models anyway for the normal mapping. The key difference will be for the final texturing the high res will end up in Unreal 4 (Never touch UR4 so this will be interesting) and the low res will be in UDK 3 (I know the program and kinks to it). The reason for this is because... I honestly don't like Maya rendering and setting up the lighting/wiring. It takes forever on my laptop while UDK and Marmoset is much more amazing and time efficient.
I have also decided to combine the charcoal sketches w/ fan art on one condition. It has to be a dark theme such as Berserk. I mean I could Warframe frame as well since they are highly detailed models, but you get the idea. I also want to avoid the high end fan art. Yes, I do Pokemon, but I love Pokemon I do this more for me than anyone else. I want to focus on the less popular ones such as Dragon Nest (Yes I know it is dying. I have been playing DN since DN Sea beta. Don't care I like their art style), Saiyuki, Sypro (Yes the old school kind), .Hack series, Dark Siders, Jak and Daxter, etc. This means no Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, DBZ, Marvel, DC, etc. Actually I may allow Marvel and DC if they are characters that are not well known from the movie genre. Why not the popular fan art? Because it is everywhere. There are too many artists that are already doing this and I don't want to ban wagon for the sake of ban wagon. I would like to draw characters that are equally unique and complex as say... the Joker, but have been ignored since people have been paying attention to the joker.
If people truly only want me to only popular characters I will work on it, but I highly doubt people just want to see LOL characters, GOT characters, KH characters, DBZ, etc characters up in their faces 24/7. I get this is Deviant Art... but... that is what Tumblr is for... rawr...
With that being said I will have to delay charcoal drawings for a wee bit as I have yet to find a proper art store. For those outside of Turkey wondering, art supplies are normally sold in book stores. However most of these supplies come in ... tiny amounts and want your soul in return. They are mainly meant for arts and crafts for K-12. There are hardware stores equal to Home Depo and they do have a small selection of real art supplies, but again money. Yes, art supplies are expensive, but... American art supplies are cheaper and the currency is 2.59 lira to $1... One tiny oil painting tube was around 40 lira... I can find the same tube in the US for $4-6. Yeah... so if I consider American art supplies cheaper with that currency exchange it is a problem.
Being in the city of Istanbul I am pretty sure there are good art stores, I just have to find the right people. Makes things a bit more difficult when the system is discouraging art (any type of art, traditional and/or digital) as livable life/job/income and I swear the artists in this city are freaking ninjas as their try to hide their identity of being an artist.
Anyway thanks for reading.
This section is a more of rambles and to specific people. So you can ignore, but if you want to read it will be pretty out there and if want to know more... just read Naked to Lunch... For an idea of the mood.
Okay where to begin... Uhh... Some I haven't talked to you in a lil over a year some of you I haven't heard from in a few years and others... wow 16 years. I don't know if any of you are bothering to check up time to time. For 2 groups I doubt they are, but guess what I want a simple yes or no from you guys.
Not now... but years down the road I would like to write a novel/story. It will/can be fictional or nonfictional, but I do want you guys to be in it. These characters will essentially be you. This past year trying to be well... a "normal" person is difficult, though I don't I have tried it correct. After the incident in 2013 I have been focused on school and once I graduated I pretty much regressed in my limbo.
So I moved to Istanbul 3 weeks ago, and trying to be back to my old self. It seems hard since I don't really have any where to go. Don't really have topics I could just randomly talk about since they are not really encouraged to talked about in public... even something as simple as politics. I miss talking to everyone whether it was on Skype chatting away, the adult bar across the street when I was under age, the people who were in the Middle East time to time to serve their country and give each other advice, or even the times when we were kids and just trying to see who could swim across the pool the fastest. I miss the good, bad, ugly, even if you didn't trust me 100%. I understand why considering we are people live across each others lines.
Despite this... my older memories are fading... it makes me sad... I don't want to forget. It is easier for some since I have already have drawn you, and couple of you are in my gallery so I get to see you every day, but I know I need to do more in order to remember. I don't want you guys to become a lost memory as my orphan friend who died, or my kindergarten friend whom I haven't seen since high school and dk if he is alive or dead. I mean.. I hope he is alive and well, but ... -rambles-
One group I know we have cut all ties and this is more of a reminder. I hope you truly are ready when 2 of the 3 come back. I know you did it more for their sakes, but I also hope you know they may not recover, but instead regress. I was also told by someone another person by that group is reading to kids at libraries when he has the time. I am glad you are slowly feeling better. I know it won't heal completely, but at least you are doing something that would make them happy.
The other group you know who are. I hope everyone is doing well.
With that said. Guys do I have permission to use you/your characteristics for a book and publish it?
I don't want to do it now since I am still trying to figure out what I want to do as a calling.
I must say I am still envious of you guys since you already figured it out.
They were never easy choices, but you have in some way over come them. Who knows I might change my mind in the future, but the way I see it now is I want to remember as much as I can with times I have spent with you. Virtually and reality. I just want a simple yes or no answer. You don't need to answer here, we don't even need to see each other if you don't want to, but I do want an answer. From everyone... everyone who can answer anyway.
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